Playboy's Forum - Reader Response

Back in the March 97 issue of Playboy, Ted Fishman told the story of Adam Lack, a student at Brown University who was charged with raping a female student. The student who made the charge claimed she could not recall the events of that night because she was too drunk. Lack, however, did recall the events, and not one person - neither the woman in question, nor the university - has yet to dispute his side of the story.

Adam was suspended for two years for what Brown University called "date rape." Since this story appeared in Playboy Magazine, Adam has since filed suit against the woman and the university for gender bias, breach of contract, and negligence. His attorney has said they will not seek remuneration, but rather an apology from the woman and Brown University for destroying his reputation.

Upon hearing this story, I submitted my own take on this, which currently appears in the Reader Response section of the July issue of Playboy. Unfortunately, due to space limitations, not everything was printed. Of course, I couldn't help but throw in my usually brutally honest rant on the situation, which was what Playboy cut.

I've since re-printed the original letter here as it was sent to Playboy. You can see what Playboy has printed in blue boldface. (Note: Some words were changed by the editor, so what is seen in boldface may not be what Playboy has printed in verbatim.)

After reading Ted Fishman’s article about Adam Lack and Brown University’s redefinition of rape ("Cry Rape," Playboy Forum, 3/97) I have come to the bitter conclusion that academia is no longer fulfilling it’s role in preparing students for real life.

Once upon a time colleges and universities had a responsibility to not just nurture these young adults for a few more years beyond high school, but to also help them prepare for a life OUTSIDE of academia - and into the real world. Well part of that real world is how men and women interact beyond the confines of the classroom. And it is a subject that Brown University has apparently been handling as accurately as a drunken dart thrower trying to hit a bullseye from across a crowded bar that’s illuminated by just a strobe light.

If the accounts in the article are even partially correct, it seems that nobody in authority in Brown University has even one one-trillionth of a clue about how to properly handle social interactions between the genders. As a result of their handling of Adam Lack, not only does "no" mean "no," and "not saying yes" means "no," but now "yes" means "no" if the woman has had a few drinks that night and changes her mind days later if she can’t recall the events.

So what now, O great social experts in Brown University? When will "yes" mean "yes?" After both parties sign a 50-page contract, double notarized, videotaped, and witnessed by two lawyers and the Dean of Students, with full medical and psychological verification that neither party was under any influence of stress, drugs, booze, or insomnia? Or will Brown University, in their not-so-infinite (and might I add apparently pseudo-intellectual) wisdom, decide to go the road of extremists like Andrea Dworkin and say that ALL sex is rape? That does seem to be the pattern developing here.

Fishman suggests that all Brown woman be given T-shirts that are sensitive to alcohol or memory loss that say "CAUTION: CRIME SCENE." Why not go whole hog on this? Why not revise the dress code for all Brown students to demonstrate the university’s new policy on social behavior? For the men, monk vestments complete with the Brown University insignia on the front and on the back the words "WARNING: POTENTIAL SEX OFFENDER." For the women, brown baggy sack cloths and veils to hide everything except the eyes; to be worn whenever they are in an area where men might view them. They too can have the Brown University logo right on the front and the words "WARNING: POTENTIAL SEX VICTIM" on the back. Guaranteed that these measures, combined with the public embarrassment and the subsequent plummet in student enrollment, will certainly make Brown the first university truly free of sexual harassment or sexual assault.

All sarcasm aside though, if Brown University wants REAL solutions to the problem, they’ll first have to remember that there are ALWAYS two sides to any story involving more than one person. Even in criminal court the accused is always considered innocent until proven guilty.

Let’s start with a REALISTIC understanding of what constitutes rape. The woman in question initiated the sexual act, not Adam Lack. And not just once but twice. If intoxication can be no excuse for Adam Lack, why is it that it’s an excuse for the woman in question who initiated the intimate contact, disrobed, asked for a condom, had sex, performed oral sex, then talked with him and exchanged phone numbers until the wee hours of the morning?

That isn’t to say that Adam Lack was lacking (no pun intended) complete blame in this sordid affair. Given Brown’s apparent discrimination against anyone with a penis, Lack should have taken the high road and left the room that he just offered to the woman.

If Brown University wants to REALLY solve the problem of social interaction, they’ll first have to reintroduce themselves to the real world. Administrators and faculty need to remember that today’s young men and women aren’t thinking like naïve Beaver Cleavers when it comes to sex. They also need to clear their minds of clueless and sexist drivel from the feminist fringe groups that consider all men to be rapists and all women to be either actual or potential rape victims.

In the real world, what happened with the unnamed woman wasn’t rape - it was a sexual mistake. A mistake made by both parties, and made worse by people who dare to consider themselves to be the know-all, be-all, definitive word for relationships between the sexes. And the really sad part about it all is that Brown University will still crank out young adults who will continue to be absolutely clueless about how to handle the opposite sex in the real world, while patting themselves on the back for their perceived good deed.

- David Matthews 2
Gainesville, Georgia
DJM2@aol.com

(Why they cut the 2 from my name I have NO idea..)