David Matthews 2 is a freelance writer in Alpharetta, Georgia. He is also the host of a weekly audio rant which you can hear at the main page.

Target: Moralism
Part 13 – The Cradle of Moralism
– by David Matthews 2

I used to wonder just where the bulk of moralists came from.

Oh sure, some moralists are preachers and politicians, drunk on whatever power they have amassed and are eager for more. It’s easy to understand how these people can follow the path towards tyranny. After all, the masses look to them for guidance and support. The preacher is supposed to KNOW what is good and what is evil. The politician is supposed to only support those things that are GOOD and are supposed to be working for our BEST interests, not our worst.

The pulpit and the podium are prime breeding grounds for moralism. When you’re surrounded by people who listen attentively to every word that you say and are willing to do whatever it is that you tell them to do, then there is always the temptation to exploit that kind of power.

But that doesn’t explain how the rest of the great unwashed can become moralists themselves. Sure they can be lulled by a smooth-talking moralist and become willing zombies, but eventually those slick arguments give way to practicality.

Human beings are, by nature, driven towards independence. This comes from an early age as we continuously strive towards self-sustenance. When we reach our teenaged years, we yearn for adulthood and often believe that we’re already able to handle the adult responsibilities. Then, finally, we have that independence. We’re given all of the freedoms and burdens of adulthood. Some of us will celebrate and exercise those freedoms more than others, of course, but those freedoms are still there for us all to enjoy at our whim.

So WHY, after all of those years of pining for those freedoms, would anyone be willing to give them up and let others tell them what to do, what to say, and what to think? It just doesn’t make sense.

And as I’ve pointed out previously, many moralists don’t even hold elected or appointed positions of authority. They’re average people living average lives. They earn a living just like the rest of us do. They live in our neighborhoods and aside from their dysfunction they are normal human beings.

So what is it? What is it that would turn a person from seeking freedom to actively suppressing it?

The answer is really very simple: all you have to do is become a parent.

Let’s get brutally honest here… a good majority of moralists GOT this way because they became PARENTS. They passed Biology 101 and produced a little breathing tax deduction that we otherwise call a child.

Now let’s follow through with that train of thought for a bit. You’re now a parent. It’s now YOUR responsibility to properly raise and nurture your precious tax deduction so that it becomes a successful and self-sustaining taxpayer. And depending on how YOU were raised, you can either promise to raise your children in the same way that you were brought up, or you could vow to make sure that the mistakes that happened in YOUR upbringing could never be repeated in YOUR CHILD’S upbringing.

For those first years of your child’s life, you’re completely in their world. Your life revolves around THEIR schedules. If they’re up in the middle of the night, then YOU’RE up in the middle of the night. They feed when THEY want to be fed, they sleep when THEY want to sleep, and of course you have to take care of their messes until they can learn how to use the bathroom.

All of the things that YOU used to do before that little tax deduction existed are either pushed aside or otherwise gone. Any of those things that you used to do that were clearly adult-oriented… the stuff that you couldn’t WAIT to be able to do when you were a teenager, and then rejoiced in doing as an adult… those things are long gone.

And it doesn’t get any better as the child gets older and starts walking and talking. Children are like sponges. They soak in everything that they see and hear. So now you can’t curse in front of your child, because they’ll hear it and copy it and make it part of their regular vocabulary. And just like they’ll hunt down and find their birthday and Christmas presents, so too will they find anything else that you have hidden. Your old porno stash, your joints, your weapons, your liquor… one way or another, they’ll find it and make it part of show-and-tell. So rather than try to explain things to them, you have to get rid of all of that stuff.

Remember that you’re still in THEIR world. You now have to live your life in THEIR world for THEIR sake.

Don’t forget that you also have to tell your child what to do. They’re not going to know how to do things like make their own bed. He or she has to be TOLD constantly to clean up and do the chores, tie their shoelaces, brush their teeth, and to close the door. You essentially have to be a tyrant to your children - at least in the beginning - because they’re not mature enough to deal with things on a rational level. You have to provide the structure in their lives until they can figure it out on their own.

And now… Oh my gawd! You come to the realization that the world that you live in isn’t suited for children! There are plenty of things that you used to think were okay that are suddenly no longer okay because they aren’t designed for children! Cute novelty toys meant for adults, racy songs on the radio, the video games on the market, real-life issues being seen and discussed about on TV, all sorts of material on the Internet, the stores, the restaurants, the movies… all of the things that you USED to be able to enjoy as an adult! These things aren’t right for YOUR CHILD!

Now while the adult in us would simply say "turn the channel" or "turn away" or "don’t pay for HBO", we have to bear in mind that parents are people who have conditioned themselves to living in the world of their children. There simply CANNOT BE anything not meant for children in this world! Your child will find it, no matter what it is or how well you hide it, and then they will ask about it. And if you can’t answer their question, they’ll find out what it is on their own.

And if it is something that was a part of that mistake in YOUR upbringing, then you don’t want YOUR CHILD to go through it like YOU did, so it has to go away… and go away RIGHT NOW!

First, of course, there’s the polite approach. The letter. The phone call. The conversation. "Pardon me, but could you step into my child’s world for the next eighteen years so he or she can be brought up right?" That’s essentially what you’re asking the rest of the world to do. You’re asking them to submit to the world of YOUR child. It’s not exactly a realistic request, because it’s not THEIR child… it’s YOURS. You neither have the right nor the authority to force other people to live in the world of YOUR child.

So when that modest request inevitably fails, what then? Well, you’re a parent. You’re the dictator in your child’s world, and you simply DO NOT accept the word "no" at all! Not from your child and certainly not from another adult! Those adults who say "no" to you are SABOTAGING your job as a parent! And BY GOD you’re gonna PUNISH them for disobeying YOU! You’re going to get friends, you’re going to get the community, and you’re going to get the GOVERNMENT to back you up on this! You’re going to FORCE those people to live in YOUR CHILD’S WORLD whether they want to or not, and there’s nothing they can do about it. You are A PARENT, and you will not be denied!

The transformation is now complete. What was once a hedonistic, carefree, freedom-loving adult has now been converted into a miserable, self-centered, freedom-hating moralist.

And all it took was just one baby.

Being a parent gives even the most ordinary person the kind of power that a preacher or politician wields. You not only gave life to that little tax deduction, but you also sustain that life, you nurture it, you act to protect it, and you are not only loved for it, but you are WORSHIPED. You literally are GOD to that child for the first few years of his or her life! It’s very easy to translate that power that you have over that child into a quest for power in general.

You can also see the dysfunction that this kind of moralist possesses. This is not a rational adult with a full appreciation of freedom and responsibility. This is someone who has spent literally YEARS in the world of a CHILD. Not only that, but they believe that this perspective of theirs is not only NORMAL but should be universally accepted and enforced. This is not someone who will have an appreciation or an understanding of the issues of others, especially those of an ADULT, because they have already sacrificed those things in their own lives, and they expect the rest of us to do the same.

By the way, this also explains why parents have a hard time accepting the fact that their children do grow up. They don’t see it because they have spent so much of their lives in the world of a child that they have grown comfortable in the role as a dictator and personal deity and they don’t want to give any of it up. It makes for perfect comedic fodder for TV sitcoms, but it also complicates matters in the real world when that child becomes an adult.

And using children as a moralist’s means and excuse for a quest for power makes sense. Traditionally women and children were considered weak and in constant need of protection. While women are no longer viewed as the "weaker" of the sexes (thanks in no small part to the role of feminism), children will ALWAYS be seen as in need of protection. They make for the perfect image that moralists use to gain control over society and to defuse any rational arguments contrary to their own. Western civilization has allowed women to stand up for themselves if they have to (and in some cases they will do a much better job of it). But even the most rational of arguments fall to the wayside once a moralist holds up a picture of a child and screams "YOU’RE HURTING MY BABY!" You cannot use rational arguments against something so irrational and emotional. Remember: these are people who either consciously or subconsciously live their lives in a child’s world.

And it becomes easy for parents to side with moralist causes. All one has to do is spin an argument so that whatever he or she wants outlawed is seen as a threat to children. A parent’s entire life is in their child’s world, so they’ll gladly make a deal with the devil in order to keep their child safe from any kind of threat, real or imagined. They can’t do that with a non-parent, because that adult sees things in their own world as a rational adult. They understand and appreciate the freedom that is at stake and they will not give it up as eagerly as a parent would.

We need to recognize that moralism IS a social dysfunction. It is generated by twisting our natural protective instincts as parents into unrealistic demands for conformity. Moralists aren’t born this way. They’re made. They’re nurtured by relatives and peers eager to push parenting as the end-all-be-all in life, and by opportunists who play on our fears in order to covet power. In order for us to combat moralism, we need to see the dysfunction and to publicly recognize it for what it is.